Guns, Castle Doctrine and why I don’t like them

The biggest problem I have with giving guns to everyone (if we outlaw guns then only the outlaws will have guns), comes from the ‘Castle Doctrine’ concept and ‘Stand Your Ground‘ Laws.

Castle Doctrine law stems from the idea “one’s Castle is one’s home” and that when you are in your home, car or place of business you have no ‘duty to retreat’ which means you can legally kill a person in self defense if you feel your life is in danger of serious injury or death. Before the law was enacted an individual was required to make sure that there was no way of retreating safely from a conflict before being allowed to kill someone in self defense or defend against a home invasion.

Some fairly tragic events have resulted from this ‘Shoot first, ask later’ concept.

NEW FAIRFIELD, Conn. September 26, 2012 – Jeffrey Giuliano shoots masked person holding a weapon come toward him in a threatening manner and kills him. Only to realize later that he killed his 15 year old son.

ROCHESTER, Minn. December 10, 2012 – Stan Wilkinson said he had a recent nearby burglary on his mind when he accidentally shot his 16-year-old granddaughter, thinking she was an intruder. Fortunately she will survive.

NEW ORLEANS, LA September 10, 2012 – 57 year old Charles Williams is fatally shot by his wife about 11 am inside their home after she mistook him for an intruder.

There have been changes to the Castle Doctrine that impose no duty to retreat from any public place or anywhere an individual has the right to be which allows people to use deadly force if they feel threatened anywhere, unfortunately these ultimately means that once everyone has guns, any move can be a lethal threat.

Gone are the abilities to have verbal arguments, to ‘Stand Tall and Walk Proud’ because such actions could well be viewed as threatening to some people who would then be justified in shooting someone dead.

Tampa bay Times has set up an online database where the ‘Stand Your Ground’ defence has been used, successfully or not and within the database there are occurrences where an encounter went wrong and the person was killed. Some (not all) examples were successful for the defendant. Some of the cases were a little alarming:

On Feb. 07, 2008, drug dealer Tavarious China Smith shoots and kills Nikita Williams at the Rubonia Social Club in Rubonia, Manatee County, Nikita Williams was trying to force him to give 10 percent of his drug dealing profits. Claiming immunity with the ‘Stand Your Ground’ defense he was uncharged.

On Dec. 19, 2010, at the Club Elite in Palmetto, Manatee County Tavarious China Smith shoots and kills Breon Mitchell after instigating a shootout with him. Claiming immunity with the ‘Stand Your Ground’ Defense he was again not charged for the killing.

On Aug. 11, 2009 after a drug dealer goes bad 26 year old Sujaye Henry draws and fires his gun at Anthony Gonzalez Jr before fleeing in his car. Anthony Gonzalez Jr then pursued him in his car shooting Sujaye Henry 3 times killing him. After Gonzalez filed a ‘Stand Your Ground’ motion, prosecutors offered him a plea deal resulting in a manslaughter instead of second degree homicide charge.

On Jan. 12, 2006 Deounce Harden shoots and kills an unarmed Steven Deon Mitchell at the World Wash Car Wash in Jacksonville, Duval County. Deounce was dating Mitchell’s ex-wife. Prosecution declined to file any charges due to the ‘Stand Your Ground’ law which allows use of force when a person is being threatened.

MIAMI, Fla. On June 5, 2006, retired police officer Kenneth Allen shoots his neighbour Jason Rosenbloom after a shouting match over the amount of garbage bags Rosenbloom used. Rosenbloom who was unarmed was shot in the stomach and chest. Kenneth Allen was never charged due to the ‘Stand Your Ground’ defense.

These are examples of situations of everyday arguments turning violent and sometimes fatal without consequences.

For myself:

I get into an argument with someone and they shoot me because they felt threatened whether they regret it or not after it is done; they have either injured me or killed me. It is no longer about right or wrong or the individual. It is about whether it is legal or not.

So I say, You want the power of life and death’ over me, ok, don’t be surprised if I never say hello or bother to shake your hand because you might see me as threatening and kill me. . If something as trivial as the amount of garbage that I throw out is just cause to kill me. I’m not going to go out of my way to get myself killed by walking up to you and shaking your hand. I will make sure you can always see my hands, if we have to walk towards each other on the sidewalk, I will either hold my hands up or stand still so you don’t think I am a threat or maybe just cross the street while again making sure you can see my hands

I would live in constant fear that you will shoot me over something as trivial as loud music or maybe walking through the neighborhood wearing a hoodie. If I lived in such a society where every person that I meet has the power of life and death over me, I would never go outside.

My point being that because everyone would have a gun and by extension the power of life and death over someone, then everyone can also considered a lethal threat. Any action that might be done by anyone might be considered dangerous and create a situation to be shot, how am I supposed to feel safer.

This is why I don’t like guns and the ‘Stand Your Ground’ Law.

For Lady Nikita

What is love and what does it mean. I have asked myself this question many times over the years. It’s overrated, over hyped, more trouble than it’s worth. Some have said. Others say it’s worth losing everything for. For myself I have known it only a couple of times, and only recently was it returned. I have broken my heart so badly it pretty much destroyed my entire self-image and I had given up on ever finding someone that might love me back. At the age of 37 I met a beautiful lady. Over the past few months the relationship has grown from friendship to romance in ways I never thought possible.

This for a lady that I have called peanut for her small stature and Lil’ Bo peep for the same reason. In my heart I shall name her Nikita because of her beauty, her spirit and a defy-all-odds attitude rarely seen in people now days.

My darling heart

What I feel today

Is different yet the same

As everyday

I look forward to your morning greeting

And feel sad every time we say good night

When I first met you

In a room full of strangers

I saw something like a dream

You have a heart I wish I had

Courage and strength that amazes me everyday

A spirit that refuses to give

Qualities I thought beyond hope

That I would find in a single person

I had thought that if I ever met

A lady like you

You would already be taken

It was beyond my wildest dreams

That you hadn’t been

I want you to know

I cherish every moment that we chat

And every moment we actually have together

Forgive the awkwardness of my words

And the fact I am not always around when I want to be

For the first time in my life

I have to think for 2

It is different

The challenges we face

We will face together

I feel blessed that I ever caught your eye

It is humorous

How much we fumble around

It being a first for both us

And even though life’s not fair

We will succeed together

If all things go against us

I want you to know

You have come to mean everything to me

You are the first thought I have when I get up

And the last that I have before I sleep

As I said when I first met you Nikita

You melted my heart

You made me believe there was hope

That I would not be left behind

Love you and miss you

Thought of the day

I look into a world that feels painful
where people have only negatives to give
i see that there are so many broken hearts
I wish I could see a moment of hope
a moment of love, peace or something good
within this world of ours, which is all we have
can we not stop for a moment to
think not of who to blame
and think instead of
who to help, who to thank
maybe give others
a reason to hope

Whitney Houston Poem

Whitney Houston

Aug 9, 1963 – Feb 11, 2012

The wind blows softly
and now you sit
looking from the other side
I wonder do you see the flip
from a gathering quick to point a finger
quick to sneer and snicker
to people filled with grief and hurt
maybe because it’s a reaction
tempered long in tradition
the flowers will come, moments of silence too
but for me I give nothing
I have nothing to compare to you
what people might now realize
is that through everything in your life
you strove to carry on
and uphill the battle may have been
with quicksand suggestions on all sides
I hope you weren’t alone
I hope someone held your hand
It may have been lonely
I hope you’re not alone right now
Maybe those people I talked about
now realize their shame
one day they might see
climbing a mountain no one said you had to climb
doing your best against the stories
it is now that people might know
and realize
‘The Voice’ has sang her last
and it’s too late to say goodbye

from myself and my heart
I wish I could do something
I wish I could show you
what you’re courage meant to me
A simple man far away
without a talent of your sort
simple poem from a simple man
cannot compare to your songs
Your *final song gives me shivers
makes me wonder if you knew
with a smile and a flourish
you laughed and left the stage
I hope you are better now
I wish you all the best
and that you truly believed
what was on your final breath

from a poet to an Icon

I will always love you too

*The last recorded performance of Whitney Houston was at the at the Kelly Price & Friends Pre-Grammy Concert on February 10, 2012

 

She Sang….

‘Jesus Loves Me’

 

rambling

living my live with hope in my heart
that one day i ay live to see your eyes again
one day i hope you can be a starlet a queen within a land
that takes us both beyond our dreams
and with everything that you might have
to say
i give you what i can everything i have to give
everypart of me to live
for your heart
for your eyes
for your life

Having no other word for my littlest sister, I shall cal her Meisje, She has always been precious to me and my brother as well. it is to my loss that I can say that I have very few memories of her. She wasn’t even her teens when i moved out.

I remember she had a beautiful singing voice, she was my Cosette, sing castle on a cloud perfectly. She was a sweet heart and fearless. All my sisters had gifts, hers seemed to be that she was utterly fearless when it came to animals, petting any strange dog that came by.

The one memory that sticks out the most is a ski trip, My parents had arranged for us to go to a local ski hill that actually had black diamonds, more than a hill but not quite a mountain. My brother and I were together as usual and we were riding up the chairlift about two thirds up my brother swore and started yelling, I remember being really confused until I saw my littlest sister, My fearless meisje, trapped on the side of a black diamond. she was about 7 I think with tiny skis and the littlest poles. Anyhow my brother started telling hang on, as soon as he got off the chair lift he raced over to the run, and started down. My sister was vehemently defending her right to be there, but he made her take her skis off and climb up the hill, and then follow him down to the bottom. Much yelling ensued but at last she agreed to find the rest of the girls and stay on the easier hills, such a courageous girl.

I only know what I heard, which was a lot, She finished High School in two years and a bit, she finished university in 2 and a bit as well. She paid for her first car with money she had saved babysitting, all my sisters saved really well. She excelled at figure skating, she was the kind of lady that would give without thought of herself. A childhood friend of hers told me that in grade one, when she was all alone and felt sad my sister chose to sit beside her everyday, to make her feel better.

But the best i save to last.

My sister re-entered my life when i was 23, working at a restaurant. She asked me if i would help her get a job there. at sixteen she was too young to be a server but they hired her as a hostess. I loved every day i worked with her, I became friends with one of my coworkers and we played pool together did a little bar hopping now and then. He was a good friend to me.

Suddenly he and my sister started dating, 9 years later and they have been married for a couple of years.

a poem for my meisje

Soft and gentle, kind and giving

smart as Einstein, with joy for the living

Gorgeous heart strong and true

makes me warm with love for you

taking time to help out others

a princess in the hearts of both your brothers

I wish you joy with in your heart

you’ve made compassion into an Art

 

LittleGopher

 

PS Happy birthday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mom

I promised my mom I would write about her next my mother has always inspired with the feeling of quiet strength. It always seem no matter what the sacrifice, for her children she would do anything. she was the other half to the best parenting team i can think of. as a child i remember the contributions she made to the budget, I wish i had thought to keep even one of those hand made Bermuda shorts i thought were so cool. As budget restricted as they were she was well aware of peer pressure and clothing and would occasionally stretch the budget to buy a certain type of clothing just so we wouldn’t be laughed at.

another thing that really strikes my memory as a moment of comical irony is that she would get mad at the smallest of things sometimes (small to a child’s eyes that is). but in moments of catastrophe she had nerves of steel. i recall when i was a young teen and i was chopping wood and sliced my hand down to the bone. I remember the voice i will never forget and will cherish forever saying “Does he need a tourniquet?” as calmly as if she was asking what’s the weather like. extreme calm under pressure is something i wish i inherited, i haven’t but i always wish i had.

there are many contributions that my mom has made to my current philosophy and way of thinking. a childhood tradition that i wish i could pass on would be seeing my brother and i off to school each and every day. my brother and i took the city bus to school everyday even in elementary. she would gather the 2 of us to her and say “may the lord bless you and keep you, may he cause his face to shine upon you and grant you his peace” adn would send us on our way.

like many people my memories aren’t crystal clear and most likely i am just one of the many people to believe there mother was perfect. I do know my heart is truly happy when i see her and there have been times when i have had to resist the urge
to run and hug when it was inappropriate. when i think of my mother i think of dedication, i think of love courage and strength  unmatched by any offer i can give her.

My mother brings memories of dress-up days in the kitchen, long walks at night with me where we would talk. Dancing in the kitchen with my little sisters. and ABBA. oh Abba dear Abba i will never listen to any of your songs without instantly thinking of my mother. she loved you guys and if anyone asked me what kind of music my mom likes ABBA would be the first group to come to mind.

There are many things i could say about my mom, but in the effort of keeping it brief the biggest impact she has had on my current way of life and thinking is about the powers of the female sex. at about the age of 12 my brother went to boarding school. between the ages of 12 and 15 i was the sole male child in my house. i learned very quickly that the limitations placed on the female sex be they physical, mental or otherwise are often misplaced.

i had 3 sisters and my mother for company most of the time. when i got my first job, i recall either my mom or my dad gave me a bundle of pamphlets on woman’s rights in the workplace. my sisters proved themselves equal to any challenge i made to the point of my giving up on any hope of being able to outdo them in anything. I will always be grateful for the strength i believe i gained from my parents.

and so we dance
with love and compassion
in a different place and time
where boundaries have changed
where knowledge gained through age
has made it easier to be
mother and son in 2 different worlds
where i can say i am sorry
and you can say it’s all good
many a child grows up without learning the love
and many a mother loses a child to modern life
but that will not be so with you and me

and so we walk
as we once did as mom and child
in dark neighborhoods
where the strong mother protects her son
from the neighborhood dog
we have learned a lot have we not?
for the strength to keep going
for the power to love without reason
i give you a part
of all the things i consider my own
and we move on a little closer
swaying

so we live
having learnt from the past
my compassion having grown
my dreams a little brighter
i will always love you
and always remember
the songs, the dance
the walking, the talking
the memory of one thing to hold me up
in times of darkness
is our little tradition
of the farewells each day
started with
The Prayer

Love you mom

TLC

Littlegopher

Test for windows live writer

Just seeing if this works or not

Letter to my Grandfather

dear Grandpa,

Well the time has come and gone where goodbye’s must be said. To you i wish nothing but happiness. I want you to know that even though we were never close in a physical sense, I often thought of you. I am sorry that i wasn’t there at the end, I feel badly about it.

I have often wanted to thank you for the images you’ve left in my head. You were the best grandfather in that my memories of you are happy. I remember playing at your house as a young boy. Playing on the shuffleboard getting dust everywhere. I remember the multicolored rug in the TV room, The model ship you built, the little liquor cabinet you had with the tiny bottles. I remember when i was really young wondering if you even knew how to read English because every book you owned was in dutch. Of course i was only 6 at the time, i learned better.

I remember there was a time when I had Father-Son day at school my Dad couldn’t be there and you came instead. I hit your thumb, and we had fun. I remember even further on in my life when i came to you for sponsorship for my summer tour, I was so nervous asking you for money. but you listened to what i had to say and then told me you thought it was a good idea. You then not only sponsored me but encouraged others too as well. At that point in my life I think we were closest. I had a car at the time and i would come over just to visit and we would work in your shop building what ever we thought of. I do remember being all thumbs (still am) but you were so patient and you often helped me see other possibilities when my projects didn’t work out so good. You saw good in everything i built even when i thought it was ruined. thanks for that 🙂

There are 3 distinct memories which i will hold close to my heart.

Your chair, it was so old but you used it so long that there was a little groove in the arm where you kept the ashtray. The smell of cigarette smoke is never pleasant, but for me it will trigger a memory.

Your prayer, I have yet to meet a person who spoke so fast when praying. It was years before i could understand it, But as my father once pointed out to me. It didn’t matter if i could understand it all that mattered was that God could

Your heart, the fact that you would travel into faraway places to build houses for natural disaster victims with no thought for your self inspires me to help. Of course i will never be able to do the big helping you did but if i can help in a small way maybe i can honor you memory that way.

As I said before this is my farewell

for me the word is not goodbye but until we meet again

I want you to know that it hurt when you left

I want you to know I cried.

instead of a big family we now have eight little ones

and even though you’re still there, it still feels like a loss

living now with what i have

going on is hard to do,

i have to believe that there will come a time

when a memory will bring a smile instead of a tear

and i have to remember that even though you’ve left

in my heart you’re still here

I will remember when you said

I need to grow and live

before i can volunteer my life away and give

for being an inspiration, i thank you

for being patient and gentle, i love you

thank you for providing a place

where there are no bad memories.

Until We Meet Again

Littlegopher

Not Quite Ready

My Feelings are still a little raw about my Grandpa who passed away 2 weeks ago. and i am not quite ready to post anything about him. but i will post some thing about someone who I care about dearly.

My Father.

My father is the most amazing man i have ever known, He frequently gives of himself more than i believe he should. He lives on a level in a world of morals which i will never attain. He is physically more fit than most of the people I know that are my age. at the age of 45 he was still capable of running a 7 minute mile. at the age of 50 he was doing 50 push ups and 50 sit ups every morning. I know because i lived with him at the time.

This is all recent history for me. When i was growing up, he put everything aside for the sake of his family. I come from a family with 5 kids. I am one of five of his children, and only recently have i realized what he put aside for the sake of our family. Financially with 5 kids, on a single person income…. Words of mine can not express the feelings i have for this achievement.

Raising our family was a two person job and i have not forgotten my mother.  But so close to father’s day i thought i would say something about my Dad. I do know that as a police officer he worked a lot of overtime and what the kids came to know as Special Duty (Guarding the Stanley cup was probably the most fun walking a beat in an empty plaza probably less so). I remember my Mom once told me that there were times when he had enough money to buy himself a cup of coffee and that was it, he just had to choose which day he wanted to have his coffee.

Further on in my life when i was in my teens and i had a car. i was told afterward years later that my Dad often would spend the nights waiting for me to come home safely, I never realized this because despite of how late it was he never confronted me. He just went to bed glad i was safe.

I learned to drive from my Father, i had taken Drivers Ed but my Father wanted me to REALLY learn how to drive. One night i remember well was when he took me to an empty parking lot and had me do serpentine and reverse serpentine drills til my arms hurt. he also taught me how to parallel park in one smooth motion although i never did learn how to do it in less than 2 seconds like he did. He really cared and i as a teen never really acknowledged that.

Years afterward i had a talk with a friend of our family. I shall call him Uncle Tee Bo.

Uncle Tee Bo was also a Police officer, and he told me something which has become my mantra when remembering my father in my childhood. he said:

Dave, Your father may have not been there as often as you Wanted him to be, But…

He was always there when you Needed him.

For My Dad

For all the things you have done for me, and all the things you’ve sacrificed.

For all the times you have forgiven me when i really didn’t deserve it.

For moments when you were strong because you knew i needed it

and for the hugs you gave when i asked for them

I give you my heart.

for your patience and compassion

for the moments when laughter fills your eyes

for showing me the simple ways to do things

and for being my personal reality check

I give you my heart

May you be blessed with many coming Father’s Days

May you come to realize the fruits of your labours

may the compassion you show so often

come back 100 times

From a man who’s heart aches for your losses

and wants to be more than i can possibly be

i wanted you to know i care

have a great Father’s Day

With TLC

LittleGopher